Tests. They are a part of all this I know. It's the only way we actually get to practice things we learn. I greatly appreciate the knowledge that even on the tests I lose, my mess-ups can still be used to move me more toward righteousness. I love that my son keeps asking me to sing “Seek Ye First” (Matt. 6:33) for his bed time song--"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." It is a good one for helping me keep perspective. I’m excited that I’m beginning to understand the specifics of what it means to seek first His (God’s) righteousness: Studying the character of Christ, whose character is the copy of who I am to follow and diligently pursue. I was thinking to myself earlier this week that I wasn’t really sure what seeking first His kingdom meant. Today was definitely a gift for my being able to think about that. It wasn’t fun, but I do have joy in a better understanding. Pray for me, though… Please! In the beginning of this journey I considered that a big part of what seeking first His kingdom meant was that I should not be seeking after my own little kingdom. I do have to admit that I have difficulty understanding the specifics of how to accomplish this. I much appreciated being reminded that this journey requires the Holy Spirit. (Thank you KathyC!) In my little kingdom, I have a battle that I’ve been waging for years against all the crazy clutter in my house. Instead of shaming thoughts or unruly kids, today my test was a common pressure. Everywhere I turned I would feel another weight from all the stuff that needs to be done around my house. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t promise me a clean house, just like He doesn’t promise that everyone will agree and get along with me, or that everyone will like me, or that this journey is going to be easy. I hope there is some kind of character quality He can conform in me so I can at least have a half way clean house someday…I guess we’ll see. I don’t know if it was the flesh, the world, or the enemy that was the root of my test today, but the fact is I was severely distracted from my quest to pursue Christ’s character by my hurricane ravaged house. My kids were the ones who had to suffer for it. (Though, I suppose I could try to blame them as the cause of it...Nah, not really.) I am still very much feeling the pressure. Please open my eyes LORD that I might be able to see what You would have me do for your kingdom instead of being overwhelmed by my little one. Let me see my home with Your eyes and let me use it for your kingdom. Please bless the work of my hands for Your honor and glory. I’m pretty sure this challenge is going to be a hard one for me. (Originally written June 15, 2010)
In the days following, the LORD brought to mind the passage that says for us to do our work as though we are doing it unto Him. Col. 3:17, 23 "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father...and whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men." A dear friend of mine used a certain term which made me laugh because it was so accurately descriptive of my feelings. The term is "Mt. Washmore" located in the kitchen sink, and now I also refer to the "Himalaundry Mountain Range" which includes "Mt. Never-rest." It is difficult to think of these "mountains" that are always needing my attention as having anything to do with God's kingdom. I just got to read an article that my friend Morna was able to have published in a magazine recently. This is how it starts: “Busyness has become a way of life for too many people, especially women. We are constantly running the daily details of the home, organizing schedules, stretching the budget, straining to make ends meet, trying to be everything to everyone, and sleeping less than we should. We have too much to do with too little time in which to do it. Maybe it's time we all take a deep breath and ask ourselves: WHAT am I so busy with? WHY am I doing it? And for WHOM?” The article didn’t actually answer these questions specifically, but it did make me think about what the answers were. The “for WHOM?” question is the most important: I need to be doing what I’m doing unto the LORD, even if it’s a whole bunch of laundry and dishes. When I am feeling wiped out and scatter brained and overwhelmed with all that needs to be done around me, may I remember Who I work for and let my efforts to please be for Him. Somehow when I'm taking out a load of laundry from the dryer...again, I feel a lot better doing it, when I am understanding that through it God is building in me diligence, perseverance, thankfulness, benevolence, etc. It also helps me to remember that when God called me, He didn't say I had to have it all together. He called me to a process commonly referred to in the Bible called sanctification. Sanctification is the holiness pursuit: set apart for the process of learning and practicing His character in my life. While my efforts need to be for obedience as He points things out to me, He is the one in charge of the process. I am no longer condemned for my failures. I don't have to beat myself up for everything I can't seem to do right. I get to enjoy a purpose in knowing Christ more and more every day.
Woah. In my writing this blog post, anyone reading this gets to be witness of a miracle...I am not kidding. I am actually finding myself thankful for how disorganized and cluttered my house is right now. I cannot say I have ever felt that way. I mean I've felt thankful despite it, but never thankful for it. I almost feel like I have to be crazy, but the only real explanation is the Holy Spirit. This kind of thankfulness I'd define as my seeing an excitement in the purpose of knowing Christ better, through my cluttered house, being more desirable than the excitement I'd have through it just being clean. (Still hoping for some serious progress toward that clean concept though.)
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2 comments:
Crazy it must be...just kidding. I am so blessed by you sister. Just tonight, mom and I were talking about you and discussing what an amazing woman, mother, and wife you are. Although you do face challenges, you are finding rest and peace in Christ. I am humbled by the joy you found in your domestic mountain ranges. I certainly stuggle to do my chores for the Lord as I should. One lady told me when I was getting lots of help when the boys were little that when she folded her laundry that she used that time to pray for whose laundry she was folding. It has helped me to find more meaning in what I am doing. May we both continue to know Christ better as we endeavor upon this journey ahead of us. I love you sister.
Thank you for your encouragement, sister. You and mom inspire me in the same way! :)
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